I cannot remember where I got this list, but when I stumbled across it on my computer, I knew I had to share it with my readers. If you have ever breastfed, you will likely laugh out loud at least once while reading this list of funny breastfeeding definitions.
Funny Breastfeeding Definitions
Boob-Lift – The unconscious lifting of ones breasts to check which is fuller. May be done at any time regardless of where you are or whom you’re talking to, grocery sackers and priests not withstanding.
Nursing Flip – The action of adjusting you and your baby to make ready for nursing. This means moving your tee-shirt off your butt, doing the “boob-lift”, putting the baby in the crook of your arm and unlatching your bra, all in about 15 seconds with no attention taken away from your previous task.
Booby Wrangling – The acrobatics your toddler does while nursing, including but not limited to flips, headstands, & taffy-pulls, all while surrounded by relatives who believe that baby should have been weaned months ago. The benefit of this exercise is that you can now nurse your kid while each of you lie on your backs, side-by-side.
Twiddling – What happens if everyone fails to mention that your baby caressing your other breast while nursing is NOT sweet. Never, never let your baby know that you can possibly have two breasts at the same time. Always keep the unused breast covered lest you want your little nursling to use it as her favorite toy. This becomes a habit quick, heed our warning.
The Steal – The act of removing your nipple from your already sleeping baby’s mouth so that you may roll over or sneak out of bed for some midnight internet use. Typically takes 2 or 3 tries to succeeded.
Jus’ a Sip – When your now walking baby comes to you, lifts your shirt and grabs a drink to refuel him/her for 10 more minutes of play. This helping themselves is a show of independence for them and a show of breast for everyone else in the room.
Ecstasy Eyes – Picture this, baby is screaming at your feet while you are talking on the phone, cooking dinner and getting a band-aid for your toddler. You finally sit and pick up the baby to nurse and she goes from screaming to rolling her eyes to the back of her head in ecstasy in only a few seconds.
Kneading – the act of nearly maiming your breast tissue while your adorable (and sharp nailed) little one nurses. This can result in your breast looking like you’ve just nursed a baby kitten.
Which term can you most relate to? Do you have any to add to the list? Feel free to leave a comment. Share and let’s talk about it.
(Also, if you know who created this list, let me know so I can give her credit).
About Janice
Oh this is too funny…. thanks for posting… I needed a laugh to start my day.
that is a cute list!
Haha! I love this! Great post 🙂
We do a lot of booby wrangling around here. 😉 I’ve gotten pretty good at the steal at night, too. He sleeps through it more consistently now.
Definately remember the Kneading! Here from the Alexa hop!
OK, the “kneading” definition definitely gave me a chuckle. But I definitely remember the Ecstasy Eyes and the Steal quite well.
Great post! Good stuff!
Oh, this really did crack me up. Hard to choose which I like best! Not letting the baby know there’s a 2nd breast or Ecstasy Eyes! I have to say, it’s been 6 yrs since the last day I nursed my youngest and I miss it.
Wish I would have had these definitions when I was breastfeeding. Maybe I would have been more successful at it! LOL
No idea where it originated, but I love the definitions.
Love this, I’m rolling right now. I am NOT missing nursing right now!
Ecstasy eyes are my favorite. I used to love that milk-drunk look. Ah, such fond memories.
I would like to submit the Elasti-Boob. Where the nursling hears a noise and turns his head to investigate, neglecting to unlatch himself, resulting in a startling Go-Go-Gadget breast effect. 🙂
LOL! That is too funny. Thanks for giving me a good giggle tonight!
Wendy
Around My Family Table
LMAO while ROTFL!!! I can’t stop giggles because my boobs do look like I nurse a kitten!!! 🙂 Stumbling this one for sure….
Very amusing! Btw, I stumbled this!
-:¦:- Pirate Proposal Drawing -:¦:-
LOL!! How funny!
Stopping by from the Stop and Stumble Saturday Blog Hop….stumbled this!
Christina
Battle of the Leading Men
Stumbled. Great post. Funny!
Boob-Lift. I gotta quit doing that. Plus, the “Eye Exam.” …which way are the girls looking now that baby is done nursing?
Classic!
Love this! rofl
Having nursed 8 of my 10, this gave me a good laugh!
Stumbled your post, would you return the favor?
http://www.libslibrary.com/2011/08/dancin-in-streets-jman.html
Thanks!
You can’t get blood from a turnip.
My kids used to get annoyed when they’d run of out milk and squeeze them… then squeeze harder… then harder… you can’t get blood from a turnip! That stuff doesn’t magically appear in there, ya know 😉
Ha ha! So true!
Hi! I’m at work surfing around your blog from my new iphone! Just wanted to say I love reading through your blog and look forward to all your posts! Carry on the superb work!
Your method of explaining everything in this paragraph is genuinely pleasant, all can effortlessly be aware of it, Thanks a lot.