I am not a big fan of attitude tees or of teaching kids to have attitudes in general. I do not think it is cute or funny. There are a few sayings that really get under my skin and the number one offender is It’s all about me (IAAM). When I see a little girl in a shirt with this saying on it, I want to pull her mom aside and ask her what her daughter means by this. What is all about her? Everything? Who told her this? What does IAAM look like in action? I am troubled by the number of self-centered kids I see and hear about. Correction, I am troubled by the number of parents creating self-centered kids. What are they thinking?
I teach my kids to serve others and not to think too highly of themselves. I try to model this with my own behavior, although, just like you, I am imperfect and make mistakes. I try to show them that love and service must not, and can not, be driven by selfish desires. I do not buy them whatever they want and our family does not revolve around them and their activities and desires. Sometimes we eat in restaurants they do not like and take vacations to places they did not choose. I also use that dirty word so many kids hate so much: no!
When we teach our kids that it’s all about them, we do them a severe disservice. Not only that, we also do our communities a severe disservice. When a child who was raised with the IAAM mentally leaves their parents’ homes (if they ever actually do), they are sure to get quite the wake-up call. They will find themselves ill equipped for a life of self-sufficiency. They will not be able to cope with disappointment and will not be able to live a contented and satisfied life. This also hurts our communities because the schools, legal system, and mental health system have to deal with the the problems the IAAM mentally creates. We all know adults who think the world revolves around them and that kind of attitude almost always starts in childhood.
Everyone likes to spoil their child from time to time and everyone loves their moments in the sun. But it is important to remember that having a child-centered home does not develop children who are happy, productive, or nice to be around. Why not have a family that operates as a unit? Why not have a family-centered home? This teaches children that they are part of something larger than themselves. It teaches them that the needs of others often come first. It teaches healthy self-sacrifice and the serving of others.
Parents should sacrifice for their children. Mothers and fathers make many adjustments to their own lives when children enter it. Putting your children’s best interests and needs ahead of your own is commendable and regularly necessary. But that is not the same as putting their wants ahead of everything else. Putting your kids’ needs first often means telling them no. I am saddened and incredulous every time I see a shirt, bumper sticker, or anything else with It’s All About Me printed on it. If you are raising your kids with this philosophy, I implore you to reconsider. What are you teaching them by making them the center of the universe? How will that translate into their adult lives? What will this perspective mean to their future spouse and children? Are you setting your child up for success or failure?
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. – Philippians 2:3-4
About Janice
Great post, Janice
I love that Bible verse and, sadly, it’s very true that we are creating a bunch of very selfish children.
Yup yup yup!
I totally agree with you on this subject.I would like to print this off and post it on every telephone pole in our town.LOL Maybe some of these parents would actually get the drift.Anyways it was a nice review to read.Thanks
i agree, i worry my snobby sister in law is doing this with my nieces
Great post! Real pleasure to read!
Thank you!
Spot on! Kids these days are selfish and spoilt. Love that verse!
Have a nice day!
I know some great kids who are not being taught this philosophy…but so many parents think bad attitudes are cute…just wait until they are teenagers!
I to cannot stand a child with a nasty rude attitude that is imbedded in them because of poor parenting. I will be a mommy in a few months and I am at a age where I am grounded and feel I will make really good decisions with my parenting. However, many parents never get to a level of a healthy productive teaching style, and it shows with our smart mouthed kids we hear/see all to often. Thanks for the great blog, I just wish there were more parents/people that felt the same way.
Great article, and so important to raise humble kids. Can’t believe some of the misbehaved littled brats I see out with their parents.
You are so right! I simply can not stand people with the “All about me” attitude. It’s a matter of respect and concern for others. I personally avoid anyone who has this type of attitude.
I could not agree more!
The trends in parenting are so interesting to me. Less than 100 years ago the parenting pendulum was more on the “children should be seen and not heard” and border-line neglectful side of the pendulum. One-hundred years ago, children were expected to work on the family farm or at the family business. Life didn’t revolve around them, in fact young children were probably sometimes seen as a hindrance to the work that needed to be done.
One thing that is VERY important when you have a new child, and parents of several children can agree-that while your world revolves around your baby-the rest of the world-and the family does not.This may sound harsh-but its a good thing to keep in mind if you want to keep your sanity!Yes, you are the caretaker of your child, but remember that this child was born into an existing family-that of you and your spouse. Take the time to nurture that relationship even if its for a 15 min walk without a cute bright eyed babbling baby between you two. Those with other children know that while a baby takes up a lot of time, a second child CAN NOT take up all the time you have and you ignore your first child. Same with your spouse-you BOTH need that time. Its important for you to take some time-you will teach your child a valuable lesson-that the world does not revolve around them.Please no negative comments about ignoring your child-this is NOT what I am saying. I am saying that its okay to take some time and be YOURSELF so you don’t loose yourself. NOT neglect your child. The example I use is that of Football. Even through all the craziness of new children, my husband and I continue to hold BYU football parties because its a tradition both he and I love-and it reminds us of simpler times when there weren’t children around. And its turned into a very fun family tradition. If you canceled all your plans and traditions because you had kids-you may find your relationship with your spouse on the back burner-and this isn’t good for anyone!So take some time this week, this weekend, pick something you two haven’t done in a while and do it. Even if you have to modify, do something that takes the two of you BACK to where you were!
It is important to put your family first and not your children. I agree.
I don’t know, maybe I am not old enough but there has and always will be the haves and the have nots. Just because lots of kids have cell phones doesn’t mean your kid has to have one. They also have to learn that lesson too. I’ve been out of high school for 16 years now. I come from a fairly comfortable middle class family. Even though their parents made about the same as my parents, lots of my friends got brand new cars when they were 16, I did not, lots of my friends got to have fancy name brand clothes, I did not. It is just life. What is teaching your kids when you worry about what other people have just because you don’t have it. For the record, everyone I was friends with that “got” lots of things like the good clothes and the cars turned out just fine. They graduated college, got good jobs, and now most have families. My parents didn’t make me clean my room often but they taught me the value of the dollar and the importance of a good work ethinc and hard work in other ways. My point is that there are other ways to teach kids things. There are plenty of very wealthy kids that do turn out fine, usually because parents in those families have very high standards about school and good jobs.
I agree. Stuff doesn’t equal a bad kid. I am speaking of raising your kids to believe they are the center of everything. That is a whole different ballgame.
I havent heard anyone post like this before