The other day my son came into the bathroom while I was applying my mascara. He looked up at me with his big blue eyes and asked me “Mommy, why do you wear makeup?” I tried to brush him off with a comment about trying to look my best, but he was looking for a deeper answer. He wanted to know why any girl wears makeup. He asked me why girls are not happy with the way God made them look. I admit that I was baffled. I was not sure what to say. I thought about telling him that, as a redhead, my eyebrows and eyelashes are lighter than normal, but I knew I couldn’t say that because he is also a redhead and I didn’t want to give him a complex. His question really got me thinking, why do girls wear makeup?
I have red hair but I am not as fair as other redheads since I am a quarter Mexican, yet I am freckled. I also have a small scar thanks to skin cancer and because I am approaching 40, I am seeing some wrinkling and changes in the texture of my skin. But that is not really the reason I wear makeup is it? I wore makeup in my teens when my skin was perfect, so what were my reasons then? I get the feeling that I would wear makeup no matter what I looked like. Why?
My first reaction is to blame it on men. It must be their fault right? They love a woman with red lips, perfect skin, rosy cheeks, and so on, right? But can I really blame it on men? My husband loves me and thinks I am beautiful without makeup, so clearly, I am not putting makeup on because of him. And let’s face it ladies…we can be pretty harsh on ourselves and on other women.
The problem is bigger than individuals. Our entire culture is pretty harsh on women and bombards us with images of perfect beauty from every angle, so we cave and believe the message: you are not beautiful enough. You would look better if you had redder lips, darker lashes, and perfectly sculpted eyebrows. Without even realizing it we are buying into the idea that we need to be improved upon. We say beauty is on the inside, but do we really believe it?
Sometimes I consider only wearing makeup on special occasions, but I fear the reaction I will get from people. What if they think I am ugly? Even as I type that, I realize how ridiculous and juvenile it sounds. I envy the few friends I have that rarely wear makeup. I wish I could ditch this daily ritual. I wish I could break this cycle.
And here I am in the bathroom staring at my son with answers he can not understand with his nine-year-old brain. Truthfully, I do not understand either. If I know that beauty is on the inside, my husband loves my face, and God made me how I look, then why am I going to put makeup on tomorrow morning? What am I teaching my son and my daughter about beauty? Am I teaching a lesson on looking your best, or am I perpetuating the idea that girls must improve upon the face God created? I think I know the answer to that question. So what now?
What are your thoughts on this topic? Do you wear makeup? Why? Feel free to leave a comment. Share and let’s talk about it.
About Janice
I don’t wear makeup on a regular basis, but I don’t have a problem with people who do! I see no problem with ‘decorating God’s Temple’. The only issue I have is when women are judgey about it either way, or when women say ‘Oh I just can’t leave the house without my full face on!’ because I worry about them if there was ever a fire or something. 🙂
That is too funny, Emily!
I stopped wearing make up full time soon after I was married. My husband never knew if I was wearing it or not so I quit wasting my time. Now if I wear make up its for me, just because I like it and I like to feel pretty every now and then. I have to admit that Sometimes I will wear it because I feel like I’m competing with other women, but usually I could care less.
That competition thing bothers me. Why do we do that?
I agree,I like to feel pretty sometimes, too.
I wish I had dark eyelashes and I wouldnt feel like I needed to wear mascara! But I wear foundation powder I wear to cover up imperfections(does’nt that sound vane). I am envious of those women that look good without makeup. If I go somewhere without makeup on I feel ugly and wont take off my sunglasses! That sounded silly even as I wrote it!
I see I signed under my husbands account the first time! he does not wear makeup!! lol
Too funny!
I haven’t worn make up on a consistent basis since I graduated college. It started when I was working nights in the hospital– my eye make up ran and I looked even worse than I would have staying up all night without it! Then it just got easier to live without it. After 30, I really started to embrace who I was born as. I quit coloring my hair, I embraced my curls, and decided there is absolutely nothing wrong with having fair skin (and goodness knows I’m too old to care enough about what society thinks is the acceptable skin color to risk skin cancer).
I really fear for our daughters’ self images b/c the beauty aesthetic that our society is developing now is totally fake. It’s all generated by marketing in my opinion. If the movies, tv shows, and magazines can convince us we’re not good enough the way we are, then their funding sources are happy b/c they’ll sell more products. It’s all hype. Every woman has a beauty to unveil (to quote John and Stasi Elderidge)and she doesn’t need to change her natural self to unveil it!
Well said! I agree. I am getting better at this but I find it hard to break old habits sometimes. Having children has opened my eyes to these issues. Thanks for sharing, Shauna!
My 5yr old daughter asked me the same thing not too long ago and I really didn’t have an answer for her. I use minimal make-up if any. I pinch my cheeks for that extra blush, use just minimal black pencil liner and when I remember, I use chapstick that I make myself for that extra sheen and moisture on my lips and that’s usually enough for me. I use the OCM and use olive oil for moisturizing and that keeps my face looking smooth and even. If make-up makes you happy & feel good go for it! 🙂
Thanks for sharing!
I dont wear makeup, i own makeup but rarely put it on, i went to put it ont he other day when me and hub were going to dinner and he looked at me and was like please dont put that on your face… lol I stopped wearing makeup probably my senior year of high school, im ok without it… Now that im married and have a son, im happy to be loved by two great guys no matter what i look like 🙂 but my sister paints her face like cazy before she leaves the house… i just dont get why you have an hour to look diffrent then you naturally do, just to go to the store, but whatever floats your boat 🙂
Wow, well said. Lately I stop right before I put makeup on and ask myself why I am doing this. But I still put it on. It only takes me about 10 minutes since I don’t go crazy with it, but I wish I could be happy with just powder and chapstick. I am working on it!
Interesting article for sure, and a difficult thing to have to answer to a child. I don’t usually wear make-up but I do wear it for photo sessions – haha! But usually I put it on for special occasions when I want to feel “dressed up.”
Me, too. NO pics without makeup lol.
I don’t wear makeup every day and my typical makeup routine is a little mascara, a little powder, some blush and lip gloss. Even in the 1980s when I was in high school and big hair and blue eyeshadow was en vogue, I still opted to skip out on the makeup most days (I still had the big hair though hehe). My sister, on the other hand, looked absolutely stunning in the delivery room with full makeup. We were raised in the same household so obviously this was a personal decision on both of our parts. Great question from your little guy – definitely not an easy one to answer!
Love it! Makeup in the delivery room!
Thanks fo sharing I need to get better on this and take my time
I feel that people take this question a little too far. When women wear make-up it’s to dress up or to make their self feel a little more feminine. Who doesn’t feel prettier when your lips are glossed and you can actually see your eyes because of a couple swipes of mascara. Now, if people don’t want to wear make-up then they shouldn’t care what their clothes and hair look like because what is the difference, right? People wear dresses, high heels/pumps, panty hose, fix their hair, and wear make-up because it simply makes you feel prettier. Nobody wants to walk around looking like a frumpy washed out woman who appears not to take an interest in her appearance. Now, to answer J’s question, simply tell him the truth; it makes you feel prettier! He might not understand, but R would understand because she is DIVA! There is absolutely nothing shameful about wearing make-up, fixing your hair, or wearing a pretty dress. Those are just a few of the reasons why it is wonderful to be a WOMAN!
Well,you have to wear clothes, not makeup, but I get what you are saying. I guess there isn’t anything wrong with wanting to look a little bit pretty.
Also, if people really had a “valid” reason for not wearing make-up then should never get their hair styled and they should wear jeans and a t-shirt next time they go to church or a wedding, right? I can tell you one thing, if a hubby came home to his wife in dirty sweats with no make-up on and their hair in a bun compared to wife who spent a little time fixing her-self up regularly; the sparks would probably fly a little more often in the second scenario. Fun fun! Also, it is human nature to want to fix ourselves up and dress, smell, and look nice. UGH, there is nothing wrong with being a woman and doing womanly things!!!!
But then again, no every woman needs a lot of fixing up. I don’t think not wearing makeup is the same as wearing dirty clothes lol.
My husband comes home to a wife with no makeup, wearing pajama pants and a bun…our sparks fly pretty high. We have five young kids to prove it. Lol. That’s such a shallow thing to say (Pamela)! My husband prefers me without makeup and I know I don’t need it, nor do I feel like I HAVE to wear it every day… yet I have a pretty good size collection of it on my vanity. It’s just fun to wear. Plain and simple.I have four daughter’s so I don’t put any emphasis on wearing it. I guess it’s kind of like your bedroom…it’s fine with just a bed and dresser but feels more fun and comfortable when you paint the walls and decorate it. 🙂
My hubby prefers me without makeup and with my hair natural and wild lol. I am the one who feels the needs to get dolled up. Four daughters! How fun! I am jealous.
It is to bad to call me shallow, I wouldn’t call you a plain jane or homley(hmm?). I have my opinion and you have yours, but it is very childish to start name calling.
This is suspose to be what you feel about wearing makeup, not to call people names!(Michelle M) I had three children and two were twins and I made sure I never wore pajamas or anything like that to greet my husband when he came home from working hard all day and my house was spotless too! Dressing for bed all day is another blog topic!
I think tht girls should not hide their real beauty behind the mankup.
If one is doing so she is jst insulting her beauty. It doeasn’t matter how world sees you but how you see ypurself.
So Mommy Pamela i dont think that mackup should be used because it’s temparary.
I wear make-up to look ‘grown up.’ I’m young-looking and work on a college campus — without fail, I get rushed by sororities who think I’m a freshman unless a) I’m wearing a suit; and b) I have full ‘battle paint’ on. If I go without, I look 16-18 and get carded for haircuts (yes, they do check so they don’t have complaining mothers!). I have some breakout issues that are finally resolving with the right skin care system, so I cover those up too.
My husband always says that I am beautiful with or without make-up. I do not wear much, some tinted moisturizer and a little blush, but I would not mind my daughter wearing make-up — it is her choice
Great post! A question every Mom of a daughter must face, sooner or later. 🙂
My daughter in 2nd grade did a special tribute to mommy card on mother’s day as a class project. She came home so excited and wanted me to open her gift immediately! The card read with pictures drawn lol….. my mom weighs 18 pounds, she is 54 and is most beautiful when she wears make up!! She told me I should run in and put some on lol!! I laughed so hard I cried so naturally she thought I didn’t like the card so explained I was crying because I loved it! I hugged her tight and laughed some more, she was happy. What was so terribly funny was I am 39 and can not ever remember a time of 18 pounds maybe when I was an infant an I have no desire for make up particularly in our summer heat. Make up is only worn on special occasions for me, straight from the mouths of babes makes me giggle. I guess I didn’t feel the need for all the make up and hair fixing when I went through chemotherapy and lost my hair, eyelashes, and eyebrows I wore a wig but loved my bandanas in our heat. I still enjoy fixing myself up every now and then. My husband loves me with or without as long as I feel good he says that’s what counts.I think what ever makes us each feel good individually sounds great! I have three daughters and two sons only one of my daughter’s wears make up regularly, they are beautiful to me no matter what their choice, but it is fun to tease my 22 year old and say oh wow is that a wrinkle lol!